For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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