I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
