i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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