i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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