To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
