She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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