i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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