pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
