He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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