the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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