I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
