So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
