what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
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