the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
