ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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