We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
