he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
