I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
