i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i think i have two assholes
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
