the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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