What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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