i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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