On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
being pregnant is like rehab
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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