yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
