I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
