Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Enjoy the penises
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
