were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
