okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
