Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
