My room smells like vodka and shame
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
