OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
