do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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