i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
