brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
