So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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