I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
