I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
