so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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