booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
