so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
