i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
