Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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