shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
