I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
