u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
