My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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