I'm going to jail i love you
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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