Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
