i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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