where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
